Love and Light

Years ago, when I was choosing a name for my business, I was drawn to the alliteration of "The Sunshine Space" and the catchy association my name had to that title. It felt right. I was aiming to create joyful, playful home decor pieces and the word "sunshine" seemed to fit my vibe. I kept the name when I started screen-printing because my goal with clothing design was the same as my aim with decor design: make stuff that's uplifting & "feel-goody." I re-branded this blog with the intention of creating a s u n s h i n e space on the internet-  a bright site with beautiful pictures, happy moments, inspiring DIY and craft projects, and messages orienting readers to the Ultimate Source of light, our Savior. 

. . . But it fizzled. For the past few years, I've carried a certain level of guilt regarding my "business" and my "blog." My brain rattled with all kinds of thoughts in connection to The Sunshine Space. 

What's the point? I haven't been actively engaged in building my brand, sharing my message, or creating anything for months and months on end. It's too hard. Too time-consuming. Too stressful. Too much. I don't feel like the reward in the creation process outweighs the stress of making perfect items to sell. There is no joy in this. I don't know what to say on the blog. I haven't been taking enough pictures. I don't know how to brand my items. How should my shop be connected to my blog? Does it make sense to do it all under the umbrella of "The Sunshine Space"? I don't like the style of the shirts I ordered. Dang it. I've made so many mistakes. I should cut my losses, sell my equipment, stop. But what about the parts I do love? Designing, drawing, composing. Sharing messages of hope. Creating good and beautiful things- physical items, words and sentences, feelings. Why did I have such a pull towards "The Sunshine Space" in the first place? How can I add light to the world? What is my purpose? What fuels me? What's the point?

And on and on. Then, one day earlier this year, I was sitting in a downstairs room of my basement- the room I go to ponder, to read, to make things, to display my scrapbooks, to journal- and a thought came. "This is The Sunshine Space," uttered the Spirit. This? This room? The window of the room faces the south side of my home and is an awesome source of light. There are no window treatments on that particular window, so the sunlight just spills in. It is a sunshine space. But The Sunshine Space? What does that mean? And all of a sudden, peace and understanding split open across my heart.

It was time to register Tenley for kindergarten and I just hadn't been able to bring myself to do it. I'd been considering the possibility of homeschooling. Starting to pray about whether that could be a viable option for my children, for me. Intimidated by the thought of it, but intrigued. Almost too timid to openly discuss it, to say the words aloud. Unaware of all the options, but open-minded. Interested. Searching. "This is The Sunshine Space," again.

Oh! A place of love and light. This is The Sunshine Space, the school. The haven for learning, the safe space I want to cultivate for my children.  A place to develop creativity, gratitude, critical thinking, curiosity, a love of learning, optimism, perseverance, kindness. A place to seek further light and knowledge. A place for sharing, loving, and learning. Together. The Sunshine Space. 

And that is how I came to feel such a renewed zeal for building The Sunshine Space. All these years of working and creating and seeking meaning and planning. . . they were preparing me for the path I can see unfolding before me now: homeschooling. I want to create channels of love and light- of hope, joy, testimony. I want to share goodness, to make beautiful things, to find understanding. But the place I start is home. The most essential sphere of influence I have is with my children. I can start here. I can do this.

I am excited (and terrified!) to share my homeschool journey here and I hope to support and encourage other Mommas on the way.

Love and light,
Summer

Do what you know

This blog has sat dormant for more months than I'd like to admit. There are multiple reasons, I suspect. Having young children. Buying my first home. Accepting a job promotion. Running a (very) small business. My husband applying for graduate programs and eventually deciding to start nursing school. But probably the biggest reason, I'd say, is because I've been depressed.

 

It's weird for me to type that. It's weird for me to experience it, really. I've had an optimistic, cheerful outlook for most of my life. I've been an advocate for happiness. For sunshine. For positivity and joy. To feel the darkness of reality creeping in and settling in my heart has been and continues to be disturbing for me. I don't have full-blown Major Depressive Disorder, as far as I can self-diagnose from studying the DSM-5. But I do have some marked symptoms: feelings of emptiness and hopelessness, unexplained tearfulness, diminished interest in activities that used to bring fulfillment (ie. blogging, scrapbooking, journaling), restlessness at bedtime, energy loss, and excessive, irrational guilt. I am anxious a lot about things I have no control over. It is difficult and I've been putting off addressing it because the idea of addressing it makes me even more anxious. But, then. . . I went skiing.

It's sweet again.

It's been two months since I lasted posted on this blog. The days pass so quickly! I can't believe how the seasons fade into each other and then, without me even noticing, the years change. Time slips through my grasp and I have a hard time orienting myself. I feel like I'm a brand-new mom. . . and I'd say, in some respects, I still am. However, I've had a little human in my care for two years now. What a remarkable, hard, patience-testing, joyful, tiring, happy struggle-blessing! (Haha- clearly parenthood is hard to describe).

5 "Baby booty bump" Lessons

The last few weeks have been a little surreal. On Sunday April 27, I entered an Instagram dance-off for moms hosted by The Alison Show in hopes of winning a $250 gift card to The Land of Nod. I had two entries: (1) the original clip of me dancing and (2) an "outtake" clip of me dancing and knocking my daughter to the ground with my bum. The latter clip was hilariously accidental and just too funny not to share. On Monday April 28, I sheepishly posted it to Facebook knowing it would surely brighten a few peoples' days. The response was overwhelmingly positive and many people shared, liked, and laughed at the video. I posted it on YouTube that night and sent it to The Ellen Degeneres Show via her website. On Tuesday April 29, I woke up with 700 views on YouTube and thought: "That's crazy! So cool." By the time I went to bed, I had 14,890 hits and I thought: "How did that happen?!" In the first 24 hours, I was contacted by several agencies asking for the rights to the video, but I ended up partnering with Storyful. And, boy, am I glad I did! Over the next few days, SO MANY people e-mailed, called, and messaged me about use of the video and I just directed everyone to Storyful. It has been such a blessing to delegate all that stress and headache to them. By Thursday May 1, my "baby booty bump" video hit one million views and had been shared by countless news and radio stations across the country. It was all over the Internet and television: CNN, The Today Show, E! News, ESPN2, the iFunny app, AOL, Time. You name it: I was probably there. It was totally overwhelming and time-consuming to keep up with all the hype! On Wednesday May 7, I was in the audience of The Ellen Degeneres Show and had to pinch myself as I heard Ellen discuss the powerful "thrust to my daughter's face." On May 8, my little snippet aired on Ellen. As of today, May 13, the video has 2,350,583 views on YouTube. I still can't believe it.

I've learned a lot from having my video "go viral." Some things are personal and/or confidential, but here's what I want the world to know.

Fall in Utah.

Last Friday evening, my family drove up a canyon near our home. . . and oh. my. gosh. the sights were breathtakingly beautiful. The fall in Utah is so pretty! I'll go ahead and add "autumn" to the list of things I'll miss when we leave. 

Being up there reminded me of all the beauty that surrounds me and how much I have to be grateful for. The last week or so has been a bit rough for me. I've been discouraged by the government shutdown in the US, overwhelmed by the unknowns of the future, crestfallen by my husband's rejection letters from P.A. schools, disheartened by all the negative, horrible things happening on the news, and feeling mostly just low-spirited in general. I sometimes get this way. I'm one who feels things deeply and, on occasion, the sadness of the world just sits heavy on my heart. That's why I need nights in the canyon :) To be reminded of the earth's beauty. To remember the joy that can be found in the little things. To feel God close to me. 

(It also helps to have a dashingly attractive man and sweet-spirited babe around to ease my troubled heart!)

Week in the Life: Monday

This week I am joining with other scrapbookers in Ali Edwards' "Week in the Life" project. I love the idea of really trying to capture what my days are made of: routines, habits, meals, projects, moments. All the little things I don't normally remember to document and record. Here's a look at our Monday, September 9, 2013.

 A baby girl who insists on being as close to me as possible.

Deep in the heart.

I've worn a Texas charm on a necklace since I moved to Utah 6+ (has it really been that long?!) years ago. That state. . . I tell ya. . . it's home. My family. My friends. My heritage. My heart. And every time I visit, I get an aching to move back. However, that's not the chapter of my life right now. Right now, I'm cultivating a good, sweet life right where I'm at. I've got a loving husband, a precious baby, giving neighbors, selfless co-workers, and caring landlords friends. But, my Utah life just got a whole lot sweeter because I picked up my own little piece of Texas at the airport today: my sister! Lindsey's starting school at BYU this semester and I'm thrilled out of my mind to have her close to me. Wahoo! 

Here's some more snapshots of our Texas trip last month:

Tenley with my Momma's sister, Wendy.

My Vote for Babies.

There are a lot of new parents in the recreation therapy department where I work. One co-worker had a baby about a month before me; another had her son the day after me; my male co-worker announced his wife was pregnant shortly after we did; I just finished covering for my boss while she was on maternity leave; and the PRN we just hired has a 14-month-old. Whew! Babies! Other people often joke "there must be something in our water." Needless to say, we spend a lot of time offering advice, sharing tips, and exchanging stories. It's definitely been nice to have this little support group as I've transitioned into motherhood. 

Cutest. Baby. Ever.

The cutest baby ever (and I mean ever!) turned six months old this week. Tenley can do so many things now. . . sit up, army crawl, reach for toys, play peek-a-boo, laugh at funny faces, throw major hissy fits, hold a bottle by herself, copy sounds we make, suck her thumb (much to our dismay!), and capture just about anyone's heart. If you want to indulge in her almost-unbearable-cuteness with me, I'll let you have a peek at her six-month photo shoot. . .

Pancake breakfast.

This morning was one of those lucky ones when all of our family was home and awake at the same time. JD didn't have to go to school to study, I didn't have to go into work, and Tenley was in an alert, playful mood. So. . . we decided to celebrate Thursday morning with pancakes! We even went a little crazy and threw some peanut butter M&Ms in the mix.  Sure love this cute little family of mine.

Zion National Park

A few weekends ago JD, Tenley, and I roadtripped down to Saint George, Utah for a little vacay. It was totally last minute and spontaneous, but definitely a much needed break. While we were in the area, we spent a few days hiking in Zion National Park. Talk about some gorgeous views! It's hard to really capture in words or pictures the awe-inspiring, breathtaking majesty of those mountains. Tenley loved being outside and looking around at all there was to see. We loved being with her to experience her first taste of the mountains (With JD as her Pops, I'm sure there will be many more mountain memories in her future!) On the first day, we hiked up the Lower Emerald Pool Trail and our reward at the end was a pretty little waterfall. So lovely! But aside from the natural landscapes we enjoyed, we also got to look at this cute baby in her precious hiking hat. . . which, admittedly, may have been my favorite part ;)

Oh, my heart!

Oh, my heart! It could explode looking at all this yummy baby goodness. Holly took these pictures of us while my mom was here in October and Tenley was just a week old. I picked a few of my favorites to share. I can't get over her sweet little features and precious, tiny body. My heart pitter patters when I think, "This is my daughter. She's mine!" Sometimes I feel like spinning in happy circles and dancing and singing loud, off-tune praises to my Heavenly Father for the blessing of being her momma. And guess what? Sometimes I do! Ha, wild singing and haphazard dancing and made-up rhymes are supposedly very stimulating for little babes, right?! Anyway, do enjoy these lovely photos. It just doesn't get much better. Thanks again, Holly!

Generations.

Over the weekend, my grandma EG and Aunt Wendy flew in from Texas to meet Tenley and spoil me. They bought us presents, snuggled my babe, helped me run errands and babysat for us while JD and I went on our first date sans baby. I was so grateful they made the trip and felt super loved during their stay. Before my mom left, we took some pictures of the four generations. Tenley wasn't being super agreeable that day and is screaming in most of them. . . major bummer. But! One decent picture is all you need, right?! 

I love these ladies. I am grateful for their examples, their love, and their commitment to motherhood. I feel an overwhelming sense of duty as I move forward as a mother. . . to continue building on their legacy of faith, kindness, and cheerfulness. I want to be happy like they are. I want to teach my children to think of others, to serve willingly, and to uplift those around them. Essentially, I just want to be like them. 

Sweet Tenley girl, I promise to do my best!

Handmade with love.

A few friends and family members have requested an online tour of baby girls' room. So without further ado, here is our little orange, teal, and yellow wonderland! Almost every detail and project in her room was handmade or re-purposed with love, by her daddy or me.

RT Retreat.

This post is a little late, but I recently got these pictures back from a friend at work and had to share. When I was 30 weeks pregnant, the recreation therapy (RT) department at work had a little retreat. We floated the Provo River, zip-lined through Provo Canyon, and ate dinner together at one of my favorite places, Brick Oven. I loved every minute of spending time with these folks in such a gorgeous setting (And don't you worry. . . I wore a full-body harness while zip-linging to alleviate the pressure on my belly. There was minimal to no risk for me or baby!) 

Half the department is pregnant!

All of us together.

Ready for adventure!

On the zip-line. What a rush!

Love that glorious sunshine.

In case you didn't know, I work full-time as a recreational therapist at an adolescent residential treatment center. I love what I do and, as you can imagine, I'm a pretty big believer in the healing power of wholesome recreation and leisure.  I feel so lucky and grateful that my smooth, healthy pregnancy has allowed me to continue doing all the active things I'm used to and love doing. I had no hesitations being involved in this retreat or any of the other adventure outings we provided for the residents at work this summer. At 23 weeks pregnant, I spent the night in Moab with a group of boys and took them hiking and river rafting (those rapids were a joke!) At 31 weeks, we went canoeing. And most recently, at 35 weeks, I camped overnight and hiked with the boys to a landing up Big Cottonwood Canyon to supervise outdoor rock climbing. Gosh, I just love seeing teenagers experience new and rewarding things and can't imagine a job quite as rewarding as the one I've got :)

California Trip

JD and I took a trip to California two weekends ago to celebrate our third wedding anniversary.  It was sort of spontaneous and was a nice getaway for us. My dear friend, Jocelyn, let us sleep at  her place (bah! we didn't get any pictures together. . .) and we  spent the weekend hanging out at the beach and being tourists. I'm so lucky to have him as a travel companion- he's the best!

Last night, we spent a little longer than we probably should've playing around on iMovie and trying to make this re-cap video of our vacation. So many clips in here just make me bust up laughing. Ha, we're pretty proud of this project ;) Enjoy!

The Last Few Weeks

JD and I have done a lot of fun things in the last few weeks!

 Here's a re-cap of what we've been up to:

Dinner at Jared and Karen's with Bryce and Sheree. These guys were JD's good friends in high school and we got together because Bryce just accepted a job offer in Louisiana and they'll be moving soon. It was nice to visit and catch up with them.

Dinner at Chick-fil-A. We were trying so hard to not spend money on eating out in May, but I had been talking about Chick-fil-A for weeks. . . so we gave in. Worth it!

Tyler and Mikella's Wedding. JD's little brother got married over Memorial Day weekend. We were both in the wedding party and loved sharing in their celebration.

JD's mom's side of the family at the reception. It had rained most of the day, so it was pretty chilly. . . but the backyard was absolutely lovely!

It started raining hailing during their wedding dance. While everyone rushed to get the tables and chairs and stereo equipment under cover, these lovebirds shared their romantic moment in the rain. Rain on your wedding day is supposed to be good luck, right? :)

NBA on television. We've been watching a lot of basketball lately. JD has been cheering against the Spurs (only because he's bitter they swept the Jazz) and I've been teasing him by wearing my San Antonio apparel sometimes. I'm not as committed to the Spurs as I probably should be and wouldn't mind if OKC won (gasp!) because it would make JD happy. 

Park City with the newlyweds. Tyler and Mikella stayed in a condo up in Park City for their honeymoon. We went up later in the week for dinner and games. We played games until like two in the morning and spent the night up there.

Tiffanie's graduation. JD's little sister, Tiffanie, graduated from Layton High School. We are super proud of her and are so excited for what's in store in her life.

Camping with the Weeks and Leues. We planned to go camping with these guys, but ran into issues when we tried to find a camp spot. It didn't end up working out as we planned, but we had a bonfire anyway and spent the evening playing games and visiting.

Fishing with the Williams family. Camping didn't work out, but JD still really wanted to go fishing. We invited the family we live with and JD taught all their kids how to fish. I sat out in the sun and helped cook breakfast in the morning. We were up in the mountains for a few hours, but JD was the only one who ended up catching a fish. Still, it was pretty special to see JD's sweet interactions with those kiddos.

Dinner and dominoes with friends. Cory and Sean and Jeremy and Stefanie came over for dinner on Saturday night. We enjoyed delicious food and played dominoes. Love spending time with these guys!

We are blessed with such good friends and family and are trying to enjoy the sweet time we have together before our little one joins the family. We know we'll miss these days!

Wedding Week

My best friend from college got married yesterday. This week has been busy with all her wedding festivities. Tuesday: bridal shower. Thursday: pre-wedding dinner. Friday: sealing ceremony and reception. I'm so happy for Cory (and just a tad jealous Sean gets to keep her as a roommate forever!) 

I loved getting to spend so much time this week with all these lovely ladies. It's hard to think about us growing up and apart, but I'm so thankful for the special memories and bonds that will keep us connected forever.  Love ya'll!