My sister is a Sister.

Today I dropped my sister off at the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, UT. She will be serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Las Vegas, NV area for the next 18 months (To learn more about what missionaries do, go here). During her service as a female missionary, she will be referred to as "Sister Robinson," rather than "Lindsey."  

5 "Baby booty bump" Lessons

The last few weeks have been a little surreal. On Sunday April 27, I entered an Instagram dance-off for moms hosted by The Alison Show in hopes of winning a $250 gift card to The Land of Nod. I had two entries: (1) the original clip of me dancing and (2) an "outtake" clip of me dancing and knocking my daughter to the ground with my bum. The latter clip was hilariously accidental and just too funny not to share. On Monday April 28, I sheepishly posted it to Facebook knowing it would surely brighten a few peoples' days. The response was overwhelmingly positive and many people shared, liked, and laughed at the video. I posted it on YouTube that night and sent it to The Ellen Degeneres Show via her website. On Tuesday April 29, I woke up with 700 views on YouTube and thought: "That's crazy! So cool." By the time I went to bed, I had 14,890 hits and I thought: "How did that happen?!" In the first 24 hours, I was contacted by several agencies asking for the rights to the video, but I ended up partnering with Storyful. And, boy, am I glad I did! Over the next few days, SO MANY people e-mailed, called, and messaged me about use of the video and I just directed everyone to Storyful. It has been such a blessing to delegate all that stress and headache to them. By Thursday May 1, my "baby booty bump" video hit one million views and had been shared by countless news and radio stations across the country. It was all over the Internet and television: CNN, The Today Show, E! News, ESPN2, the iFunny app, AOL, Time. You name it: I was probably there. It was totally overwhelming and time-consuming to keep up with all the hype! On Wednesday May 7, I was in the audience of The Ellen Degeneres Show and had to pinch myself as I heard Ellen discuss the powerful "thrust to my daughter's face." On May 8, my little snippet aired on Ellen. As of today, May 13, the video has 2,350,583 views on YouTube. I still can't believe it.

I've learned a lot from having my video "go viral." Some things are personal and/or confidential, but here's what I want the world to know.

Big families

In the first few months after Tenley was born, I remember thinking to myself on multiple occasions, "I won't be able to do this when I have a toddler at my feet". . .and then, one day, panicking, I thought, "or when I have multiple children at my feet!" Gosh. Taking care of lots of little ones will definitely be a challenge!! Overwhelmed, I asked my mom: "How do you take care of a baby when you have to take care of your other kid(s)? Like, I feel like this is so hard and there's only one of her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to manage more children." And, wisely, she said,"You don't know what you're doing with one and you're figuring it out. You won't know what you're doing with two, but you'll figure it out." And I guess that's how mothering goes. . . you just kind of figure it out. 

I'm grateful for the journey. I'm grateful for the ups and downs of figuring stuff out. I'm grateful for the exhausting, not-so-glamorous, patience-trying, faith-testing, down and dirty moments of motherhood (and life, for that matter). I'm grateful for the things I learn from being a mom, a daughter, a sister. When all of my siblings were home together with my parents for Christmas, I remembered so clearly why I want a big family, why I'll stick it out through those trying moments of "figuring it out." More children means more laughter. More perspectives. More insight. More helping hands. More smiles. More support. More connections. More memories. 

It was so good to be all together again after Jake's two-year mission trip. Oh, I just love them so!

^^Supporting Morgie at a basketball game.^^

^^Christmas Eve at the Alamo.^^

^^Christmas Sabbath in our red Sunday best.^^

^^Being silly in the jerseys Jake brought home from Argentina.^^

The hot-shot I was not.

When I was an eighth-grader, I received the devastating news that my family would be moving from the city I grew up in. Although heart-broken, I processed my feelings and decided I still wanted to try out for the freshman cheer squad at my new high school (as I'd been planning to at the high school I thought I'd attend). My mom and I traveled to the suburbs of Austin, TX for me to attend the clinic and try-outs. It was nerve-racking and exhilarating and scary to go through that process with a bunch of girls I had never met. I got up the gumption to introduce myself to a few people and practically invited myself to practice with them at one of their houses. I was confident going into try-outs and performed really well. I was so thrilled to see my name on the list when the new squad was posted. Everything was going to be okay! I had a few friends! My high school plans were not totally shot! 

Imagine my dismay when the plans changed and I found out we weren't going to end up near Austin after all. . . but in SAN ANTONIO. I was angry. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I was overwhelmed. Would I have to gather all the courage I had left in me and do cheer try-outs again? It was too daunting of a thought. To my great disappointment and utter relief, cheerleading try-outs at Reagan (my high school) had already passed by the time my family figured out where we were actually going to live. I spent my freshman year starring in the pep squad (a group of girls devoted mostly to preparing for drill and dance teams). I was so bitter and sad, but luckily I made friends and it didn't turn out as horribly as I imagined it would.

At the end of my freshman year, I finally had the opportunity to try out for cheerleading again. That year had felt so long. I was pleased and excited when I made the JV squad. I loved cheerleading. I loved learning new chants and cheers. I loved the excitement of football games. I loved motivating a crowd to get on their feet. I loved increasing school spirit. I loved jumping. I loved expressing enthusiasm with facial expressions. I loved the quick, sharp movements of the dances. I loved stunting. But I did not love tumbling (this loathing could have very well been, in part, because I wasn't good at it). I spent so much time trying to get my body to flip over backwards. So. much. time. But that back tuck never really came to me. Not to mention, after years of tumbling, I was still scared out of my mind to do a single back handspring. It was infuriating. . . and because of my sub-par tumbling skills, I always felt a little bit "less than" the rest of the girls on the squad. It was damaging to my self-esteem and, if I'm honest, to my self-worth at the time too. 

When I didn't make the cut at the end of my sophomore year, I was devastated, but not surprised. I knew I couldn't be competitive in the cheerleading world. It was a silver lining in that situation to have my best friend, Ashley, go through the same heartbreak. Together with our friends from pep squad, we tried out for the drill team. We both made it, which was a big reprieve, seeing as I don't know if we could've handled double rejection. Bah! We had a really fun junior year and, with the hindsight only time can give me, I know it all worked out for a reason. 

Needless to say, I was not a hot-shot. Ha! (JD says I'm a long-winded story-teller. Like, I just gave all that background info, but I really just wanted to get across that I wasn't a hot-shot. Sorry! I like detailed stories). 

When JD and I visited Texas this last Christmas, we got to watch my 15 year-old sister, Morgan, play basketball. So fun! She is so good with the ball! She is very obviously gifted as an athlete and has such passion for the game. 

Deep in the heart.

I've worn a Texas charm on a necklace since I moved to Utah 6+ (has it really been that long?!) years ago. That state. . . I tell ya. . . it's home. My family. My friends. My heritage. My heart. And every time I visit, I get an aching to move back. However, that's not the chapter of my life right now. Right now, I'm cultivating a good, sweet life right where I'm at. I've got a loving husband, a precious baby, giving neighbors, selfless co-workers, and caring landlords friends. But, my Utah life just got a whole lot sweeter because I picked up my own little piece of Texas at the airport today: my sister! Lindsey's starting school at BYU this semester and I'm thrilled out of my mind to have her close to me. Wahoo! 

Here's some more snapshots of our Texas trip last month:

Tenley with my Momma's sister, Wendy.

Beach birthday for me!

There's not many places I'd rather be than on a beach. I love the warmth of the sun on my back, the sound of breaking waves, the smell of sunscreen and ocean, and the squishy wet sand between my toes. I think it's safe to say Tenley inherited some of those beach-lovin' genes ;) 

A vintage country wedding.

Tiffanie's wedding turned out absolutely beautiful! She had the ceremony and reception in the Layton bowery. Some family friends of the Knowldens once owned a vintage decor boutique and did a lovely job helping Tiff with her decor and set-up. There were pretty frames and cowboy boots and twinkle lights and big paper flowers and old books and well-worn suitcases and all things vintage and pretty you can imagine. I was totally blown-away! It's crazy to think she announced the wedding just six weeks ago and everything came together so perfectly. She was gorgeous. The groom was handsome. The weather was just right. And we are really happy for her. 

Love you, Tiff, and wish you only the best!

A little break.

JD and I were both busy bees last night. He was studying for his first big Organic Chemistry test of the semester and I was getting things done off my creative checklist (. . . festive fall hand towels for the shop, birthday gift for my little sister, and a custom Halloween canvas for my aunt). We worked and studied side by side for a few hours and then decided to take a little break and indulge in some root beer floats. Yum! 

Ps. I would be lying if I said that was the only break we took. We also stopped every half hour or so to talk about baby names, look at our planners and try to guess when our girl is going to make her debut,  watch her move around in my belly, and daydream about what it is going to be like when she's here. It's  hard to think about much else when you're so close to becoming parents!

A Trip to Texas

At the start of the month, I was able to go to Texas for a few days to see my family and tell them about our little baby on the way (!!) I am so grateful I got to see my parents & siblings (minus Jakey, who is currently serving a mission). I had been missing them so! While I was home, we ate at Alamo Cafe (twice), grilled burgers at home, shopped, watched American Idol, sun-bathed in the backyard, picnic-ed in the park, spent a day in Fredericksburg, played and tanned and napped at Boerne Lake, flew kites, visited with extended family, attended a baptism, admired the bluebonnets, ate a yummy Easter feast, and celebrated the life and resurrection of the Savior. It was a happy trip for me and I miss these guys already! 

(so gorgeous!)

The only downside was JD had to stay back in Utah to study and go to school. It was lonely to be apart for almost a week! Dang it, when will I get lucky enough to have my husband & family living in the same state?!

Lindsey Lou visits Utah

My little sister, Lindsey, has been in town for the last week. She took her "college visit" days off of school and came to tour BYU, stay with her friend in the dorms, and see a little more of Utah. We loved getting to visit and spend time with her. Before we took her to the Salt Lake airport yesterday, we walked around Temple Square, watched a few videos, took a couple pictures, and ate lunch together at The Lion House Pantry. Yum. So good to have you, Lindsey Lou!

Gray and yellow.

I've been all about gray and yellow lately. I even convinced my mom it was an acceptable color scheme for the family pictures we took before Jake left on his mission. 

They turned out pretty dang cute.

(I wish JD and I were standing a little closer in this one.)

So grateful for these guys! I love them dearly.
And I do have to say, we have a pretty good-looking family :)

Texas birthday.

JD celebrated his birthday in Texas this year! (He's being converted to TEXAS every second, I swear. He's started stealing my longhorn hoodie when it's cold outside and I've never seen him  care about baseball as much as he did during the World Series this year). 

While we were home, we took family pictures, played baseball with Isaac, ate at Alamo Cafe and Rudy's (yum!), visited Lindsey at the cutesy yogurt shop where she works, spent time with Jake before he leaves for Argentina, watched a lot of baseball on TV,  got some dental work done, visited with both sets of grandparents, had dinner on the Riverwalk, played Settlers, ate homemade lasagna from my momma, sang "Happy Birthday" to the hubs, helped pick out new clothes for Morgan, saw some cousins at church, and relaxed a little. 

We really enjoyed our visit, but it's been busy busy since we got back. Make-up school work, packing, cleaning, painting, organizing, shopping, planning, un-packing, studying, dreaming, sewing, re-pairing, working, visiting, babysitting. You name it- we're probably doing it around this house!

But being busy feels good. It means we're alive! And productive! And happy!

8th grade.

Today, I had a moment. My littlest baby sister is in 8th grade! Part of me is thinking, "I can't believe it!" . . . which, of course, isn't really a logical thought because it is, in fact, believable. She was a baby and then she learned to crawl and babble and eat real food and walk. She went to Kindergarden and progressed normally and played sports and made friends. She's gone through every year of school since then. . . so, yes, it's believable that now she's here: in 8th grade. But, really, after all that, I am still thinking, " I can't believe it." I remember thinking the same thing when Lindsey, my littler baby sister, was going into 8th grade. How was it already her time? And now, how can Morgan already be in that place where Lindsey was, where I remember being so well?

In 8th grade, I had my first experience with painful rejection. I didn't make PALS, a leadership club I desperately wanted to be involved with, and nearly every one of my close friends did. It was a brutal lesson I had to learn about letting go of my pride, accepting imperfection, and celebrating others' excitement even when it hurt. I learned what it meant to really like a boy. I mean, before that, I'd had a few crushes, thought some guys were really hot, and even gotten nervous striking up conversation. . . but, boy oh boy, did that near obsession with Lee Sharrock teach me what butterflies felt like.  He was the subject of almost all my journal entries, the topic of practically every late-night conversation at slumber parties, and the source of, I think, all my disagreements with friends. In 8th grade, I learned about peer pressure, the nasty monster who rears his head and makes you feel obligated to stick your tongue down someone's throat to win approval in Truth or Dare. I learned how dumb you feel in the moment when you walk away from peer pressure, but how immensely rewarding it can be later when you remember you had the courage to do what you thought was right. In 8th grade, I got my first real kiss under a lamppost on a street corner in a neighborhood where so many of my favorite memories were made. In 8th grade, I experienced the simple satisfaction of doing a back-handspring, a goal I worked so hard to reach. I felt and understood the importance of good friends. I experienced the heart-breaking task of moving away from the place you call home at a time when all good things seem to be right around the corner. I probably learned more about myself in 8th grade than I did in all the years before that combined. It was, and still is, one of the best years of my life.

The years have passed. I made that transition to high school, as did Jake and Lindsey. And now, sweet Morgie, it's your time. Shine on, girl!  Cherish the time you spend with your friends, but remember also that your family members are friends who'll be around forever. Kiss boys you really like, but don't kiss and kiss just for the heck of it. Befriend the dorky people in your classes and never let the pressure to be popular override the importance of being kind. You are so bright and talented and beautiful. Although I can hardly believe you're as old as you are, I'm totally confident in your ability to face whatever struggles come your way this year. You rock :)

Today, I had a moment- a moment to recognize how fast life happens and to appreciate it for all it's worth.

Pillow for Seester.

My little sister is in the process of re-doing her room. I wanted to make her something "cutesy" (that's her new favorite word). I attempted a rose pillow. I thought it would be pretty simple, but it turned out to be a huge, crying ordeal for me. Next time, I think I'll use a zipper to close off the back because it's so hard to try and sew up the back with all those petals in the way!

Step 1: Cut out two circles from felt (about the size you want the pillow to be). Cut about a two inch strip the same length as the circumfrence of the circle. Set one circle aside.

Step 2:  Cut as many semi-circles as you'd like. The more you cut, the fuller your rose will be.

Step 3: Arrange semi-circles on outer edge of the big circle you cut out in the beginning.

Step 4: Sew in a circular pattern, securing the petals to the felt circle.

Step 5: Repeat steps 3 & 4 as you work your way to the middle.

Step 6: Once you get to the middle, attempt hand-sewing a cluster for the center petals. Cheat by using hot-glue because you get so frustrated.

Step 7: Sew the long strip to the petal circle and then to the back circle leaving a good 5-8 inches to turn the pillow right-side out.

Step 8: Fill the pillow with stuffing.

Step 9: Use whatever method you can to close off the pillow.

I have to admit. . . during the process of making this pillow, I felt like a huge crafting failure because nothing seemed to be going right. However, Lindsey sure loves it with her new bedding. And the look on her face when she saw it pretty much makes up for all the heartache and frustration. :)

Love you, seester.

Family visit: in numbers.

We ate at Cafe Rio twice,

slept three to a bed,

and then squeezed one extra boy in for breakfast,

had adventures with our two families,

(Love you, Skousens!)

stopped six, seven ... maybe eight? times to catch our breath on the way up Y mountain,

spent time with all four siblings at once,

rented two double-tubes at Seven Peaks,

squished five bums on one side of the picnic table,

 and celebrated the Fourth.

Oh man, Texas is twenty-two hours too far away.

 I miss you guys!