Because it touched me...

"Your own journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them. Your journal should contain your true self rather than a picture of you when you are 'made up' for a public performance. There is a temptation to paint one's virtues in rich color and whitewash the vices, but there is also the opposite pitfall of accentuating the negative. Personally I have little respect for anyone who delves into the ugly phases of the life he is portraying, whether it be his own or another's. The truth should be told, but we should not emphasize the negative. Even a long life full of inspiring experiences can be brought to the dust by one ugly story. Why dwell on that one ugly truth about someone whose life has been largely circumspect? The good biographer will not depend on passion but on good sense. He will weed out the irrelevant and seek the strong, novel, and interesting... Your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully. You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life. There may be a flash of illumination here and a story of faithfulness there; you should truthfully record your real self and not what other people may see in you. Your story should be written now while it is fresh and while the true details are available. A journal is the literature of superiority. Each individual can become superior in his own humble life. What could you do better for your children and your children's children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved? Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity. Get a notebook, my young folks, a journal that will last through all time, and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies." -Spencer W. Kimball

This touched me. Fellow bloggers, write on.

My Best Friend's Wedding

So I should probably write about Holli's wedding, considering she was married almost 3 weeks ago. Abe and Holli were married on April 1 in the San Antonio Temple. I arranged with my professors to miss classes so that I could be there for her. I flew out on Tuesday night, the night before the wedding, and didn't land in Texas until after midnight. I had a connecting flight in Phoenix, where my baggage got left behind. I should have been really stressed out, but I wasn't because I knew everything would be fine. I got my bags the next day when a flight flew in from Arizona. Holli's wedding was at 11 a.m. and my parents and I went a little early. It was nice to be in the temple, even though I couldn't actually be in the sealing room with them. I'm really excited because she will be able to be in the room with me in August. :)

It was so nice to see some of my old friends again. This is Abe's little sister, Leah, and one of my good friends. She's a senior this year and will be up at BYU in the fall. I couldn't believe how old she looked and how long her hair had grown. She is beautiful! And I'm glad she was there to keep me company outside the temple.

Mr. and Mrs. Lucero! Right when they came out of the temple.

I can't believe they are married! She has been in love with him forever.

My best friend.

And her husband. This blows my mind... still!

I didn't think that I was going to cry, because I've seen this coming for a long time and have had a while to prepare myself. But seriously... I cried all day. I cried when they came out of the temple. And then at the luncheon, when she walked into the room, I cried. I cried harder when I tried to give a toast as the maid of honor. I cried when they danced together for the first time at the reception, but I got myself together by the end of the song. It didn't matter because I cried more tears when she danced with her dad. And I was crying again when they drove away. People kept asking me why I was crying... and I honestly can't tell you. I think it was because she's my best friend and we've shared so many memories and the reality of us being grown-ups scares me. I think it was that it's hard to know that she has a husband to be by her side now and it's the end of our sleepovers. I think it's because it made me realize how soon my own wedding is and how unreal it was to watch my best friend do the same thing I'll do in a few months. I think it's because I am a really emotional, sentimental person and she's the first one to go. Maybe it's just because I am a girl and girls cry sometimes.

Dani, Holli's roommate from her freshman summer, came down to be a bridesmaid too. These are all of the girls who were able to be there for her wedding day.

I love love loved her bouquets! So pretty!

Holli's dress was so breathtaking. You can't really tell from the pictures. But if I look half as good in my dress as she did in her's, I'll be happy!

The reception was beautiful too. Her colors were totally her.

I sat there and watched them dance and was flooded with memories... of her excited eyes the first time she told me that she kissed him, of nights we spent together in the upstairs living room at her house, of basketball games at the park, of prom pictures, of letters she wrote and sent off to the west indies, of church functions and mutual nights, of haunted houses and truck rides, of dinners and dates and a million other little things. It was emotional for me to see her there in his arms and feel the happiness in the room. I wouldn't want anything less for her.

The picture says it all.

She was a beautiful bride and it was a beautiful day. I am so glad that I was able to be there and be a part of it all... I hope that her life is so happy and fulfilling. I hope that he takes good care of her... She is precious to me and I love her alot.

118 days.

118 days until i marry this man. 118 days until i start a new chapter of my life. 118 days until i make a promise to love him and care for him and give all i have to him. 118 days until i change my name. 118 days until i understand a little better what heaven will be like. 118 days until us.

Cran-Apple.

One day I was trying to think of something that J.D. wouldn't know about me... so I could stump him just for fun. When I was flying home from Texas for Holli's wedding, I thought of the perfect question: "What do I order to drink when I fly?" I forgot to ask him the question until this weekend. I realized that I didn't know what he would order. He told me that he ordered cran-apple juice everytime he flew. Shut up! I could hardly believe it. So do I. Then I started thinking... wow. This has happened alot. J.D. and I will just be talking and we'll find out something that we do the same. Or something that we have that is the same. Or something that we like that is the same. It's so weird to me when we find out these freaky things we do the same. 

Like how we both have black sheets on our bed.

And how we both always thought we would get married in the Salt Lake Temple....

And how we both fold our towels in half, in half, in thirds... 

And how we both have at least 10 pairs of jeans.... 

And how we have some of the same phrases written next to certain verses in our scriptures...

And how we both really like pickles... 

And other things... 

I just think that we are going to get along preeeetty well. 

And I can't wait to order cran-apple juice together!

I would pick more daisies.

thought for the day:

"If I had my life to live over again, I wold try to make more mistakes next time!
I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this trip.

I know of very few things that I would take seriously.
I would take more trips.
I would be crazier.
I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets.
I would do more walking and looking.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I am one of those people who lives life prophylactically
and sensibly hour by hour, day after day.
Oh, I have had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I would have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another.
Instead, of living so many years ahead each day.

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin, and a parachute.
If I had to do it over again, I would go places, do things and travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would play hookey more.

I would not make such good grades, except by accident.
I would ride on more merry go rounds.

I would pick more daisies."

-anonymous.

Nine.

I forgot to mention that today is J.D. and I's 9 months. Here's the poem I gave him today :)

You got my number because you wanted to drop a line. I agreed to a date because I felt so inclined. I fell for you fast because you seemed so mature, so old, so refined. The charming smile & bright blue eyes… should’ve been a warning sign, But whenever you invited me out, I couldn’t decline. Every time I saw you I got shivers up my spine and it wasn’t long before I was on cloud nine…Your life and mine began to combine. We swam and danced and talked and kissed and dined. We spent the summer growing in love with our hands intertwined. Then at the end, our relationship had to be defined. I held up a big stop sign- You said “Maybe this could be divine.” And so… we headed up to Utah to laugh and play in the warm sunshine and despite my best efforts, I fell prey to your tricky design. You were so kind, and optimistic and you never whined. You were there when I needed you, but I never felt confined. I wanted to be by your side in rain or shine, but I still couldn’t make the ultimate decision, and so I pined… until you gave me a deadline. This was the plan that you outlined: “Decide no- we’ll go our separate ways and it’ll be fine. Decide yes- and I’ll call the airlines, We’ll go to Texas and I’ll ask your Dad if you can be mine.” I finally realized I didn’t need a vision, a revelation or a sign. I didn’t need to be Einstein. When I imagined my life, you’re the one I wanted in the storyline. So I committed my heart and said I love you, bolded and underlined. And despite the fact I don’t like canines, you asked me the day before Valentine’s, if I would marry you and be with you for the rest of time, and I said yes, despite your traffic fines. I love you forever honey. Happy nine!

What?

Sometimes girls are hard to get. Sometimes I don't understand why we are the way we are. My life is so happy. I just landed the internship I wanted for the summer. I'm engaged to someone who loves me more than I deserve and who would do anything for me. I'm flying home to Texas in two weeks to be the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding. And the month after that I'll be a bridesmaid at another wonderful girl's wedding. I have no papers due or tests to take this week. I'm doing well in school. Wedding plans are underway. My room is clean. I've been having good scripture study the past couple of days. All the signs point to... happy.

Still, for some reason.. all I want to do today is cry and I can't figure out why. I feel down. My heart is heavy. Something is nagging at my insides. What the heck?